are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
