I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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