So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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