After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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