i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
