On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
