oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You were trust falling into bushes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
