You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
