We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize