You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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