found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
