Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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