Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize