that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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