i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
