My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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