I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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