We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Semen is not good for contacts.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm both gender and math confused
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize