if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
