I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
