dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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