dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
