I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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