just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize