She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
