i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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