Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
