So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
