I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize