I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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