everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
