This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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