Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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