fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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