Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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