did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
