Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
