i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
