is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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