They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
