if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
