I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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