i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
