Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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