Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
