the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
