So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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