so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am midnight drunk by noon
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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