brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
