There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
