Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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