would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
