Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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