almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize