OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
