i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
