absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
