I need help removing her.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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