I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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