she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
