Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
