good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
