I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
